Succubus Dreams CHAPTER 24

I knew I was going to live forever, but sometimes I had a ambitious time really down the stairsstanding how long forever was. During that ride to the airport, however, I got a taste of what eternity office feel like.Maddie washed-out almost the entire time talking about Seth. In fact, Im pretty sure the only time she didnt was when she stopped to check her watch and ponder whether we would guard it on time. I knew we would make it on time because I would stop the car and carry her on my back before Id risk her missing her career and needing to ride back with me to the city. Once shed decided we were still okay with time, it was back to Seth. Seth, Seth, Seth.Im pretty sure there were only about three people in the world I wouldnt produce suspected of fucking with me if theyd come announceing a story like this. Unfortunately, Maddie was one of them. She was telling the truth. It was written all all over her, and something in me maybe the part that really understood how seri ous the compete between Seth and me had been could feel it.After a while, my mind sort of went numb, and I stopped thinking about it all. I finally dropped her off at the airport and went home, barely aware of the traffic I once again had to fight my way through. When I got back to my apartment, I ate dinner party and watched A Christmas Carol. A long, hot bath followed, and five shots of vodka finally put me down for the night. I slept on the couch because I couldnt bear to go in the room where an angel had fallen. Some Christmas Eve.Seth came over the next morning to take me to dinner at Terry and Andreas. Uneasiness radiated around him, but he still smiled when he saw me.You look great.Thanks.I knew I did. Id spent two hours acquire ready, the last thirty minutes of which had been me simply standing in front of the mirror. Id stood there, taking in every detail of my appearance. The clinging red dress. The curve of my neck under the glittering black choker. The way my golden- brown hair, worn sleek and smooth to daytime, hung down my back. Gold eye shadow and black liner framed my eyes. My lips glowed under brainsick peach lip gloss. Even at five-four, my legs looked long and supple. My face, carved with high cheekbones and flawless skin, was beautiful.I was beautiful.Call it vanity or egotism, but it was true. I was so, so beautiful. More beautiful than Maddie. More beautiful than any mortal woman. Staring at that gorgeous reflection, I begged it to tell me that Seth would requisite me. He had to want me. How could he not? exactly I knew all the beauty in the world couldnt mask the pain in me. And subsequently a couple more moments, Seth noticed too. His smile vanished.How did you find out? he asked.I dropped the coat Id been holding. How do you think? She told me. She couldnt wait to tell me.He sighed and sat on the arm of my couch and stared into space.Thats it? You have nothing else to say? I asked.Im sorry. God, Im really sorry. I didnt mean for you to find out like this.Were you ever going to tell me?Yeahof course.His go was so sweet and so gentle that it momentarily defused the anger that wanted to explode out of me. I stared at him, looking hard into those amber brown eyes. She saidshe said you didnt drink, but you did, right? Thats what happened? I sounded like I was Kendalls age and suspected I wore the pleading expression Yasmine had disposed(p) Jerome.Seths face stayed expressionless. No, Thetis. I wasnt drunk. I didnt drink at all.I sank down into the armchair opposite him. Thenthenwhat happened?It took a while for him to get the story out. I could see the two contend halves within him the one that wanted to be easy and the one that hated to tell me things I wouldnt like.I was so commotion after what happened with us. I was actually on the verge of calling that guywhats his name? Niphon. I couldnt stand it I wanted to fix things between us. alone just before I did, I ran into Maddie. I was soI dont issue. e ntirely confused. Distraught. She asked me to get food, and before I knew it, Id accepted. He raked a hand through his hair, neutral expression turning confused and frustrated. And being with hershe was just so nice. Sweet. Easy to talk to. And after leaving things off physically with you, Id been kind ofum aflame(p)? Horny? Lust-filled?He grimaced. Something like that. But, I dont drive in. There was more to it than just that.The tape in my mind rewound. Did you say you were going to call Niphon?Yeah. Wed talked at stove pokerand then he called me once. Said if I ever wantedhe could make me a circularise. I thought it was crazy at the time, but after I left you that nightI dont know. It just made me wonder if maybe it was worth it to live the life I wanted and make it so you wouldnt have to worry so much.Maddie coming along was a blessing then, I muttered. Christ. Seth had seriously considered selling his soul. I really needed to deal with Niphon. He hadnt listened to me when Id told him to leave Seth alone. I wanted to rip the imps throat out, but my revenge would have to wait. I took a deep breath.Well, I told Seth. Thats that. I cant say I like itbut, wellits over.He tilted his head curiously. What do you mean?This. This Maddie thing. You finally had a fling. Weve continuously agreed you could, right? I mean, its not fair for me to be the only one who gets some. Now we can move on.A long silence fell. Aubrey jumped up beside me and rubbed her head against my arm. I ran a hand over her soft fur while I waited for Seths response.Georgina, he said at last. You knowIve told youwell. I dont really have flings.My hand froze on Aubreys back. What are you verbalize?Idont have flings.Are you saying you want to start something with her?He looked miserable. I dont know.No. This wasnt happening.Whats this mean for us? I asked. I dont know.The anger re dour, and I leapt up, much to Aubreys annoyance. What do you know? I demanded. Do you even know why you did this? There were a lot of things going on he said. A lot of factors. It just happenedI put my hands on my hips and stalked toward him. Did it? Did it really? Because Im not so sure.His distraught expression turned wary. Whats that mean?I think you were getting back at me for not giving in that night. I made you mad. I break you. So, youre trying to hurt me. Teach me a lesson.I what? Are you insane? You think Id do something like this to teach you a lesson? You think I would want to hurt you? Just because you refused sex?Why not? I asked. Guys always want sex from me. Why are you any different?Georgina, he said incredulously. You cant believe that. Its always been about more than sex. You have to know that. Ive told you that over and over. I would never purposely hurt you. And yetAnd yet what?He looked away from me and focused on the carpet. I dont know that we can keep going on without me hurting you.Well, if you dont sleep with my friends It doesnt even have to be that. There are so galore(postnominal) things it could be. I could get hit by a car tomorrow or catch some disease. If you ever do crack some day and sleep with me, youll hate yourself forever. And if I crack and sell my soul, thats going to upset you too. One way or another, you will get hurt. Its just a calculate of when. I saw it that night in the kitchen I saw your face when you were yelling at me. Thats when I knew it was all true.II was upset, I told him. And, I meanwe knew this relationship wouldnt be easy. You were okay with all this in the beginningthe sex and everything else.Things change, he said bluntly. He met my eyes, and I again saw warring sides within him. And back then, I thought I was the one who would get hurt, not you. I can handle it.Are you saying I cant?Im saying I dont want to find out. And honestly, its not even about sex either. Weve got communication problems, time problemsI dont know. Hell, we have death problems. I dont really know if we should keep doing this.It felt l ike Joels death again, like all the energy was being sucked away from me.How, I demanded, can you always lecture me about open communication and then dump this on me now? If you were feeling all thisyou should have brought it up beforehand, not in some bluff break-up at the zippo hour.Im not entirely sure what that last part meant, but Im not bluffing. And Ive tried to talk to you about this. I tried the night you massaged me you didnt want to seek it. Seth took a deep breath. GeorginaI really mean it. I dont think we should be together anymore.I gaped. No, this wasnt right. This wasnt right at all. Id expected a big fight, one wed eventually get over, like always. Id expected him to ask for forgiveness. Id expected to set new boundaries in the relationship. Id expected me to be the one to have the high ground and decide if we were going to continue this.I hadnt expected to be pleading.No. No. Sethweve just got to make it work. Look, Ill get over Maddie, okay? And if you want to sleep with other womenI mean, it is okay. I always said you could. Its just this first timewell, its a shock, thats all. He just go along to watch me quietly, and I found myself babbling on more and more. But we can make it work. We always do. Well find a way. You cant just go forrard and decide something like this on your own. There are two of us in this, you know.Yeah, he said. I do know. And Im one of the two. And I want to give away up.No, I said frantically. You dont want to. This is just some weirdI dont know. You dont mean it.Seths silence was more infuriating than if hed shouted back at me. He just kept watching me, letting me talk. His expression had so much regret but so much determination too.You were the one who told me we could overcome anything, I cried. Why not this?Because its too late.It cant be. If you do thisits all for nothingyoull have ended up hurting me. Me and Maddie both.Its a small hurt compared to what could really happen, he said. And as for MaddieI d ont plan on hurting her. II like her.But you love me.Yeah, I do. I probably always will. But maybe thats not enough. I have to move on. We cant do this. I think maybeI dont know. I think something good could happen with me and Maddie. In some ways, shes like you, only Seth had started to slip into the rambling he sometimes did when nervous enough. He bit his lip now, as though he might summon the words back, and looked away. exactly what? I asked. I could barely hear my own voice.He turned his gaze back to me, firm and unflinching. Onlymore human.And that was it. All the anger and sorrow vanished. There was nothing in me. Nothing at all. I was empty.Get out, I said.He paled. Something in my voice and expression must have been truly terrifying. Tentatively, he extended a hand.I never meant to hurt you. Thetis, Im sorr Dont ever call me that again, I told him, stepping away. I didnt know how any of these words were coming out of my mouth. It was like someone else was controlling me. Leave. Now.He opened his mouth, and I thought all that resolve hed just shown might crumble. In the end, it didnt.He left.